04/15/99 - Temecula, CA

I am definitely over the hill. I have been for a long time, a fact I realized when I first watched "The Graduate" on late night television. I was only 24, but I knew I had switched to the old side. At that time I had a girlfriend who was ten years older than me, five kids to my two, whom I considered a mentor of sorts. She said the movie had changed her life when she saw it as a college sophomore. She dropped out, caught a bus out of town and "did her own thing." No more parental expectations to fulfill.

My experience was opposite. Already a parent when I saw it, all I could think about was the business and how they were going to put it back together and how could their kids do this to them, and on and on. It was a nightmare show to me with my sweet little ones in tow, who I now knew could turn on me so carelessly.

All this came back to me recently when one of our friend’s kids did one of those incredibly mind-numbing thoughtless, not malicious mind you, teenage things. Child development experts say don’t ask your child, "Why did you do that?!" You will only get the answer, "I don’t know," and that’s because they are telling the truth.

As events were leading to an unknown conclusion with varying chances of severity, I again felt the vulnerability of being a parent, of putting it all out there on the line from your sanity certainly, to your finances, to your possessions, to the precious lives of your young! If you want a quick shot of this, let your newly driver permitted child drive your car.

However, a calmer mood prevailed. I remembered all would not backfire or go up in smoke in an instant. We do not live in a world of chaos, but one of amazing order, despite daily glitches. If you teach your child safety rules, they know what to do when in a dangerous situation. If you set a good example, and live what you preach (unlike Mrs. Robinson!), despite daily glitches, children consistently follow.

Three speakers will speak on parenting issues at a community forum Sunday, April 18, 1999, from 7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 24820 Las Brisas Road, Murrieta. Stan Crippen, 1997 Elsinore School District Teacher of the Year and Marriage, Family and Child therapist will address teaching children moral courage; Terry Tomlinson, a professor with Rancho Santiago Community College District will address better study skills; and Barry Brimhall, Command Chaplain at the Naval Hospital at Camp Pendleton with 30 years experience in child development and family and marriage counseling will speak on teaching children responsibility and accountability. For more information, call Don Skaggs at 699-5488.